One red candle, Pt 2

13. Playgrounds and Possessiveness (un-edited & subject to change)
My palms were sweaty, and I shoved them in my jean pockets, my nerves prickling. I was only good at putting my emotions on paper, and it was quite the opposite when I spoke them aloud. I sucked my teeth, clearing my throat and kicking at a rogue rock that made its way into the swing set’s mulched area. It was chilly, but I still wore just a T-shirt, the words THRASHER dripping over the chest. I caught my reflection in the distorted mirror beside the jungle gym, my head back, eyes downcast, and my thick throat covered in veins. Liv always joked about the chords in my neck, telling me it’s where I stored all my rage.
I heard her footsteps before I saw her, and a warm feeling settled over my limbs, a smile playing on my lips as her big, hazel eyes met mine. 
“Hey,” her hands were in her jean pockets too, and I stifled a grin at the similarities between our personalities. 
“Hey,” my voice was soft, empathic, and I still didn’t know what to say to her. It had been a long time since we had a conversation face to face. I supposed it was over due, especially after the night I climbed into her bed and held her close. 
“Swings?” I said, sounding like a little boy and not a grown man with need to feel her skin against mine. 
She shrugged, “sure.”
We both sat, side by side in the flimsy, black seats, the same way we used to when we were kids. The wind picked up, and as she slowly swayed back and forth, a chill ran through her body. I reached for her, rubbing the backs of my fingers up and down her arm. She smiled, shyly, but I kept her eyes locked with mine, “you ok?”
She broke the connection, looking down at the ground, and I could tell she was nowhere near ok. She shrugged again, but when we locked eyes, the connection clicked back in, effortlessly.
“Are you really going to church now? I told Liv she was a liar.”
Her eyes softened, and tears began to well up, but instead of pushing further, reaching out for her hand. She took it, one tear slipping down her flushed cheek. She nodded. 
I stood then, moving to kneel in front of her, and taking both of her hands into mine, “why? This is nothing like  you.”
“I…I just have to, Friday. You wouldn’t understand. We are not wealthy like you-- your dad, Liv’s mom.  You guys are so fucking lucky that you don’t have to worry about money!” The wind picked up fiercely, whipping her hair around her face, and I brushed a stray tendril from her forehead. I cupped her face with both hands now, and as I stared into her eyes, I realized that I would do anything for her. If she asked me to walk into oncoming traffic, I would. 
“What does that have to do with you going to church- no, I can’t even call it that. It’s a cult, love.” I almost laughed, but I knew she would think I was being an asshole and this wasn’t the time for that. 
“I don’t want to talk about it, but if you must know-- I have no choice, I have to…for my mom.”
I tried to understand, but if she wasn’t willing to tell me what exactly was going on, I couldn’t help her. I would get to the bottom of it, but I could tell by her body language that I wasn’t getting anything out of her tonight. 
“Where’s Liv? I figured you both would be here,” she sniffled, wiping away the one tear she allowed me to see.
“Why would you say that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, because you guys have so much in common. Oh wait, I meant to say, because you guys have some bullshit pact that I know nothing about,” she stood, walking away, turning her back to me. I felt the absence of her warmth, an iciness squeezing around my heart. I wouldn’t let her hide from me, I knew, deep down, she cared for me too. 
“Harper…” I stood behind her, she seemed so small, only breaching my chest. I reached for her but she pulled away.
“Why do you care?” she snapped, turning to me, pushing me. I suppressed another laugh, her shove barely making me take a step back. 
“Don’t do this…you know how I feel about you…”
“Do I? Because it seems like you avoid me at all costs. You’d much rather spend time with your sister, clearly. I saw you two in your room at the Halloween Party.”
Her comment about the pact made sense now, I knew that wasn't something Liv would voluntarily tell anyone else. That information a promise between us.
Her arms were crossed, and another shiver ran through her body. Her bratty little shove hardened my dick, and I was glad for the long T-shirt that covered my shameful reaction.  I wondered if her pink nipples were peaked under her hoodie. I licked my lips, my resolve fading fast, I wanted to feel her body against mine, I wanted to hold her in my arms until she no longer trembled.
The street lights clicked on suddenly, making us both twitch in the direction of the crude lamps. It was only now that I noticed her puffy, pink eyes and make-up free face. She was perfect, and the pea sized freckle to the right of her eyebrow only added to her beauty. She had always used makeup to cover it up, until I told her it highlighted the diversity of human appearance. 
“Come here,” I pulled on her arm, not letting her fight me off this time, and she melted into my arms, a deep sigh escaping her lungs. I inhaled the scent of her soft hair, absentmindedly rocking us back and forth until I heard her quiet sobs, “if you need me, you tell me, you understand?”
We stood there together, frozen in time, a moment I'd wished could drag on for hours.
“Aw, look at you two. It melts my heart to see this, ya know.”
Harper broke the embrace first, glaring at Liv as if she just kicked a puppy. I can’t lie, the jealousy in her eyes did something to me, and I bit my lip, watching their interaction.
“I don’t know why you’re so mad at me, Harp. There’s nothing going on between Friday and I, I promise,” she hugged herself, walking toward us wearing the same strapless black dress with two white stripes running down the sides from earlier. Her platform sneakers almost brought her to my height, and Harper stared at the two of us towering over her. She glanced at me and I nodded, affirming her words.
“Did you tell her about the pact?” Liv asked, scrutiny written all over her face.
I sighed, looking down at my feet and kicking another rock. It flew sharply to the left, into Liv’s sneaker, “no. But I’m guessing you’re about to.”

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